It was in the year 1978. I was studying in the 12th standard when a family came from Tamil Nadu seeking a bride for one of my relatives. They also happened to be our distant relatives ( maybe seventh or eighth link from my maternal side in the family tree). We soon heard that the bridegroom was interested in the chirpy bubbly girl who was running to a maths tuition class ( it happened to be me!) that was from where the discussions between the two families started.
I was 17 when I met Mr. Ravikumar who was 26. When my parents informed me that the bridegroom was interested in marrying me I was quite open to the idea of marriage. I liked the bridegroom. He was tall, dark and handsome and had a great smile!! I was quite bold however to say that I had some demands / CONDITIONS for marriage.
1) The person has to be mandatory, a born again Christian
2) The person has to necessarily be a teetotaler
3) I must be attracted to him physically.
Mr Ravikumar claimed to have cleared all these three criteria and so I agreed to marry him. We got
talking with each other. Ideas of compatibility were woven into the conversation. There was not even a iota of negative thought.
I was not greatly involved in the wedding preparations. My parents designed the card, booked the reception hall, planned the menu, invited guests… it was herculean task for them as they did everything they thought would be the best for themselves and everyone.in was truly arranged.. all I had to do was get married in church .
It was only after marriage I understand what married life and starting a family meant as the bridegrooms family started doling out their role expectations of a daughter in law.
It is 36 years now and life has been happy, sad, difficult, overwhelming and satisfying.
“expectations lead to disappointments. Acceptance of the person helps one to evolve strategies to help
find solutions to cope’". This is what I have learnt over the years and would like to share with those who are preparing for marriage.
Monday, August 3, 2015
His ways are higher than ours - Davidson and Sharon
I am Davidson. Me and my wife Sharon have been married since June 29th 2012. This is a testimony of how God United us both.
God's plan in each of our lives are unique and special. We sometimes may not be able to understand why certain incidents happen in each of our lives, why things delay .
Me and my wife knew each other from childhood yet we have never spoken much.Never have we imagined what God had kept in store for our lives. The talk about finding the right girl had started at my home when I reached 27.I was busy with my career and Sharon was doing her undergrad. In our culture, parents, our aunts and elders search for the right girl. Several cousins mentioned for me several profiles of eligible brides,but I was hesitant to take the next step.Things kept getting delayed. We prayed about it and that's when God revealed it through a prophesy to a lady in a prayer meeting about the one I am to marry. She had just graduated from college and that's when I realized the reason I had to wait a few years for my marriage. It was in His time that God directed my aunt and mum to take Sharon's profile into consideration.They kept her profile in prayers and God revealed them that she was the one for me.Just as it's written in Ecclesiastes 3 :11 " He hath made every thing beautiful in His time", every piece of our life falls in its place like a puzzle in His time.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Christ alone, Cornerstone in our marriage - Rachael and Sam
Hi, I am Rachael.Im really excited to share the experience of our life together.Life was really beautiful after I met my Husband Samuel , a dental Surgeon.
Sam's dad and my dad were in college together and are very close friends too.Both joined work, got married, started families but eventually lost touch.After several years they met each other again when I was in my 10th grade.
At the same time, Sam joined college closer to the city where I lived, Chennai and my dad took responsibility as his local guardian.Time went by and we started liking each other.We prayed about the relationship and read the word of God ,told our parents about us.They were all happy about it .We got engaged in 2008 .And now its been 4 yrs since we got married.
We had our ups and downs even though we knew each other's family before.But our love for each other grew stronger as we had Christ as the reference point in our lives.We praise and thank God for enabling us to come together in this fashion, for without which we wouldn't have grown closer to Jesus.I thank Jesus for blessing me with wonderful husband like Sam. One thing that I have learnt through my marriage is that it was not by chance that we got united,it was God ordained even before we were born. So we need to pray well ,read his word and wait on the Lord and trust the one who wonderfully orchestrates our life.
Sam's dad and my dad were in college together and are very close friends too.Both joined work, got married, started families but eventually lost touch.After several years they met each other again when I was in my 10th grade.
At the same time, Sam joined college closer to the city where I lived, Chennai and my dad took responsibility as his local guardian.Time went by and we started liking each other.We prayed about the relationship and read the word of God ,told our parents about us.They were all happy about it .We got engaged in 2008 .And now its been 4 yrs since we got married.
We had our ups and downs even though we knew each other's family before.But our love for each other grew stronger as we had Christ as the reference point in our lives.We praise and thank God for enabling us to come together in this fashion, for without which we wouldn't have grown closer to Jesus.I thank Jesus for blessing me with wonderful husband like Sam. One thing that I have learnt through my marriage is that it was not by chance that we got united,it was God ordained even before we were born. So we need to pray well ,read his word and wait on the Lord and trust the one who wonderfully orchestrates our life.
Divided in Culture, United in Christ - Martha and Viju
My Pastor , Ps.Jaykumar saw Viju's profile and told my mom and sisters , and all at home .Initially mummy said no because he was from Mumbai. A north Indian who was very far away as we were from the South.But later my people said OK and our pastor arranged for a talk on the phone. We spoke and Viju said if this is God's will , it will happen. We will keep the matter in prayer.
-- Martha and Viju
"I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" How do I know God's will? By Mercy and David
Mercy and David are Tamilians from South India. They have an adorable daughter called Hannah who is just over 2 months old and this is their story.
I have summarised my testimony in 3 levels.
1. Submission to Gods will
God prepared me to submit myself to His perfect plan. Though I was not against marriage outwardly but the married couples I have seen in the society and guys I have seen made me to built a strong wall in my mind that guys are not easy people to deal with and a wife will become slave after marriage. God had started speaking with me 3 years back about my marriage but I was not serious nor willing to get married. People who speak or walk close with me will not identify these things as these were my inner struggle against marriage.God also revealed me the place where he is going to keep me after marriage.
Our God knows how to change our mind. It was a time when all my friends left me alone one by one. I was left all alone and which was very tough. During these period God again started to deal with me regarding marriage. God was speaking with me through the below verses. He made me to realise that It is a sin to live on the past. He will bless me with a new thing. After which I submitted myself to God for marriage. My submission was like this. "I blindly submit myself for your plan in my life. I don't make any liking list. Even if the person you are showing is a drunkard I will still submit to you. I will be safe and secured in your plan."
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43: 18, 19"
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43: 18, 19"
2. Finding Gods will
This stage was not an easy one. After some struggle Got my hubby's profile. I prayed earnestly to know the will of God. I fasted and prayed for 3 days to know the will of God. On 4th day I got a dream but I dint understand its meaning. The only thing I could do in this stage is to again submitting myself to Gods will. Met my hubby on October 2nd 2014 and had a personal talk with him. I was unhappy in few things but I asked God again "Daddy is it your will for me? And it was a yes from God". We got engaged on October 4th 2014.
3. Confirming Gods will
I asked God for a word from him. I was asking God that "Daddy Am in the center of ur will? Please confirm me this alone so that I could rest on u" God gave Mr a verse from proverbs 4: 11, 12.
"I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths. When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble."
I asked God for a word from him. I was asking God that "Daddy Am in the center of ur will? Please confirm me this alone so that I could rest on u" God gave Mr a verse from proverbs 4: 11, 12.
"I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths. When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble."
We were united by God for His great purpose and living happily.
Preetha's story - "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7
I come from a South Indian Tamilian Christian family. I was 25 when got married and my spouse was 29years. It was an arranged alliance by common relatives.My idea of an ideal husband was a man with a good heart. I was not at all worried about the outward look.
Unfortunately all the men who came to see were disappointed with the color of my skin. I am dark skinned which is not sought after among Indian brides. Slim, tall and fair is how they usually define beauty. It was a difficult 3 to 4 years. Because of all the rejections I started developing a very low self esteem.
However, when God led me to my husband the people around me were able to see the hand of God upon it. God's ways are much higher than ours. I was blessed with not only a good man but also a handsome man.
I felt that God was telling me that I deserved more than my expectations.
God always gives His children the best. I am happily married for 20 yrs now and am blessed with two beautiful girls. In our culture Most people tend to see what we are on the outside but our Lord is only worried about what we are made on the inside. Praise be to God!!!!
I come from a South Indian Tamilian Christian family. I was 25 when got married and my spouse was 29years. It was an arranged alliance by common relatives.My idea of an ideal husband was a man with a good heart. I was not at all worried about the outward look.
Unfortunately all the men who came to see were disappointed with the color of my skin. I am dark skinned which is not sought after among Indian brides. Slim, tall and fair is how they usually define beauty. It was a difficult 3 to 4 years. Because of all the rejections I started developing a very low self esteem.
However, when God led me to my husband the people around me were able to see the hand of God upon it. God's ways are much higher than ours. I was blessed with not only a good man but also a handsome man.
I felt that God was telling me that I deserved more than my expectations.
God always gives His children the best. I am happily married for 20 yrs now and am blessed with two beautiful girls. In our culture Most people tend to see what we are on the outside but our Lord is only worried about what we are made on the inside. Praise be to God!!!!
In His Time, He makes All things Beautiful - In the words of Jessy
Ours is purely a arranged marriage. Being a Tamilian from a typical South Indian christian family, we were engaged in Oct 2003 and married in Jan 2004. During that gap we never spoke to each other. All went on well. As a normal girl even I had dreams of newly married couple would have. But it was all different, he was always with friends and worked late night as he was in the IT field.
All alone in Dubai, no one to share my problems, the only person I had was our dear Lord. I used to talk to Him like He is my father and share each and everything that's happening in my day to day life. I waited patiently at Lord's feet like Job in the bible. Because this life was chosen by Him and I strongly believed that He will never let me down. Many of our times would be fighting and we would have no peace at home. But God really did make a change with a MIRACLE in my life after 9 yrs.
We have been married for 11years. We weren't romantic nor spiritually together. We have never read bible or knelt down for a family prayer. The times that we come before the Lord is when my husband's mother visit us. I was really upset & worried that we are not only cheating my Mother In Law but also our dear Lord. Days rolled by and I was always praying for a change in my husband. Though I prayed to God for a change in him but never initiated myself to call him or make him understand the value of oneness in God through joint prayers.
But our dear Lord, never leave his children and as its always said that He comes in search for His children to turn to him. This He did make it happen as we were childless for 9 yrs. We went to doctors for many check up etc. And finally as the word of God says. He provides everything in His own time, He did make me speak to my husband at this right moment. To be blessed parents, we have to first cling to our dear Lord who can make everything possible.
There were lots of ups and downs during those time but God was on our side & made us His children. We started to kneel & pray together and once we started to have the spiritual closeness everything came in place. I got conceived and was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Till date I never understood how all this happened. What I was yearning for 9 yrs of my marriage, happened within a blink of an eye. By His Grace till date we kneel before our Almighty & thank Him in all that he does and gonna do in our life. We started to place Him amidst us in all doings and He guides us so beautifully.I praise and thank God for giving me such a beautiful family and we hope and pray that we always be a living testimony.
My learning from my experience is to obey our parent's choice. Never leave our dear Lord at any time. Hold on to Him until you get the blessing from Him like how we are to our earthly father. Always try to speak out your husband. If it's not possible or scared to speak, say a word of prayer and start the conversation and you will see wonders happening. Never forget to thank our dear Lord. Always thank him for each and everything that happens in life. Jesus Christ is Lord. Amen
All alone in Dubai, no one to share my problems, the only person I had was our dear Lord. I used to talk to Him like He is my father and share each and everything that's happening in my day to day life. I waited patiently at Lord's feet like Job in the bible. Because this life was chosen by Him and I strongly believed that He will never let me down. Many of our times would be fighting and we would have no peace at home. But God really did make a change with a MIRACLE in my life after 9 yrs.
We have been married for 11years. We weren't romantic nor spiritually together. We have never read bible or knelt down for a family prayer. The times that we come before the Lord is when my husband's mother visit us. I was really upset & worried that we are not only cheating my Mother In Law but also our dear Lord. Days rolled by and I was always praying for a change in my husband. Though I prayed to God for a change in him but never initiated myself to call him or make him understand the value of oneness in God through joint prayers.
But our dear Lord, never leave his children and as its always said that He comes in search for His children to turn to him. This He did make it happen as we were childless for 9 yrs. We went to doctors for many check up etc. And finally as the word of God says. He provides everything in His own time, He did make me speak to my husband at this right moment. To be blessed parents, we have to first cling to our dear Lord who can make everything possible.
There were lots of ups and downs during those time but God was on our side & made us His children. We started to kneel & pray together and once we started to have the spiritual closeness everything came in place. I got conceived and was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Till date I never understood how all this happened. What I was yearning for 9 yrs of my marriage, happened within a blink of an eye. By His Grace till date we kneel before our Almighty & thank Him in all that he does and gonna do in our life. We started to place Him amidst us in all doings and He guides us so beautifully.I praise and thank God for giving me such a beautiful family and we hope and pray that we always be a living testimony.
My learning from my experience is to obey our parent's choice. Never leave our dear Lord at any time. Hold on to Him until you get the blessing from Him like how we are to our earthly father. Always try to speak out your husband. If it's not possible or scared to speak, say a word of prayer and start the conversation and you will see wonders happening. Never forget to thank our dear Lord. Always thank him for each and everything that happens in life. Jesus Christ is Lord. Amen
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